Comments on mixedepisodes: Dear Demons,

Regarding the Bipolar issues you bring up, there a...

2009-02-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

Regarding the Bipolar issues you bring up, there are a great many over-lapping symptoms between autism, Aspergers Syndrome, Obsessive-Compulsive, General Anxiety Disorder, Tourette’s, and a number of other conditions—a lot of it having to do with an amygdala which is in fight-or-flight overdrive, as you mentioned, and other malfunctioning brain bits. It seems there are a number of genetic factors which travel together, so it’s hard to delineate where one begins and another ends.

As an Asperger’s person, I’ve also had to deal with the sort of insults and cutting remarks you mention. Because the different symptoms are on a spectrum, so-called normies also experience certain things (such as zoning out) from time to time, but not at the magnitude where it interferes with the ability to make a living, and to have a more rewarding social life.

My own interest in this also ties in with where medical anthropology gets into magic, because so many cases in history and ethnography that are associated with witchcraft, Evil Eye, etc. seem to describe people with autism, Aspergers, Bipolar, etc.—both as suspected perpetrators and as victims. At the same time, a lot of ethnomedicine and folk magic healing techniques could be helpful in modulating the various problems associated with neuro-processing disorders. That’s why a lot of my “spell breaking” research these days focuses on “enchanting the brain.”

Regarding the Bipolar issues you bring up, there a...

2009-02-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

You have touched on some very good points about be...

2008-09-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

You have touched on some very good points about being bi polar and having mental illness. You would not belive how many people I encounter that think it's just a matter of cheering up. No, it ain't that easy.

Shaman......doesn't that speak volumes....Thank yo...

2008-08-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

Shaman......doesn't that speak volumes....

Thank you.

James-I am fascinated by the idea that our trait i...

2008-08-27T10:54:00.000-07:00

James-I am fascinated by the idea that our trait is not a bad thing and that when we lived in a world that was wilder, our trait was an advantage. I have been reading lots of things about it because I am getting ready for a post. I read about how they think bipolar disorder may have originally been a response to what we used to have to endure living outdoors. Did you know that our eyes often respond differently on a cellular level to light than other peoples? That we share some kind of rods in our eyes that are similar to those that hybernating animals have? I was thinking about all of this and trying to put myself back in time, trying to imagine how this 'thing' that has caused me all of these problems could have once been a desirable trait and I thought of shaman and wondered if we were once shaman. So I googled it and--lo and behold--came up with your blog! Amazing huh!

Well said. Extremely well said.I'm the one who con...

2008-08-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

Well said. Extremely well said.

I'm the one who connected Bipolar and Shaman together. Coincidentally it's the name of my CD. I had an episode while I was finishing the tracks (I'm a solo composer), kinda sorta all that creative energy tipped me over when I didn't have tracks to focus on. I do think we share a genetic slipstream, a "Tribe", so to speak, and long ago we weren't seen as we are today. We were chosen and initiated, becoming... Bipolar Shamans.

I always ask people to take their best day ever, multiply the feelings by one hundred, then imagine being told you had to take pills to avoid feeling that good.

Thanks for dropping by, and I wish you the best. If you want to hear some of my songs, I've put up some mixes here:

http://www.myspace.com/jameswinningham

fascinating stuff. i never heard of hypomanic. n...

2008-08-25T05:48:00.000-07:00

fascinating stuff. i never heard of hypomanic. nor did i know i was a normie. kind of like being a muggle maybe? oh well, i've been called worse.

thanks yet again for the informative post about this disorder. it sounds like it's been a rough road but i'm glad you've found a good support place online.

MM-I wish I had your mom to pray for me! V=:(BBC-...

2008-08-25T04:38:00.000-07:00

MM-I wish I had your mom to pray for me!

V=:(

BBC-You know, they actually have a theory that people with bipolar disorder would do better living in nature....that we were the ones who's bodies and nervous symstems couldn't adapt to modern society.

I know you mean it helpfully but believe me, I tried a lot of things.

AHB-Pacific Northwest is beautiful. I live near Saint Louis. Ince it's near the river it's actually a little hilly section with trees. Get much past me...flat farmland.

I deleted the one comment cuz I missed a few words...

2008-08-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

I deleted the one comment cuz I missed a few words.

If someone told me I was bipolar I would tell them to take a fucking flying leap at a rolling donut.

Fuck their pretty diplomas on the walls. I don't even recall where mine are and I don't give a shit.

SIMPLIFY !!!!

2008-08-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

SIMPLIFY !!!!

Stop making excuses for yourself. It isn't you, it...

2008-08-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

Stop making excuses for yourself.

It isn't you, it's the fucking world and society.

There isn't a frigging thing wrong with you other than the fact that the world fucked you up and you don't know now to combat it.

If you lived out in a quite and simple place with no access to the rest of the world and the news and all that bullshit you would be doing just fine.

It's just your human (society) fighting with your spirit/soul. I can tackle all that head on, maybe you are not up to it.

Go camping for a month and stay away from everything else and you will see a change in you.

You will become what you are instead of what the world thinks you should be.

BiPolar my ass. That's like trying to decide which orifice is your asshole and which orifice is your vagina.

Or if your boobs are really your feet. Geez hon, get a grip, tell the world to fuck off and go sit on a rock.

Be what you need to be, not what it thinks you should be.

Fuck you too, diana!-v

2008-08-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

Fuck you too, diana!

-v

All over. I spent my best years in the Pacific No...

2008-08-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

All over. I spent my best years in the Pacific Northwest. It is absolutely beautiful. I found it to be a very spiritual place among the wildlife.

Ha, whay can I say, the right words, wrong song on...

2008-08-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

Ha, whay can I say, the right words, wrong song on the right post: A GORY/GORI STORY.
Bless us and save us, as me Ma used to say.
It's a hard auld road babe.

Cyrano-You know, it would be much easier to post i...

2008-08-23T06:12:00.000-07:00

Cyrano-You know, it would be much easier to post if I just wanted to tell people that. Maybe I'll try it sometime.

MM-That's horrible! It must be very scary for you...

2008-08-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

MM-That's horrible! It must be very scary for your daughter as well. And frightening to think of what he might do when he gets out. He will probably be full of remorse however. Which would almost be harder to deal with I think because it would make it harder for you to distance yourself.

I was told I was BP when I was 22 and didn't take it seriously because I thought that with BP was you would have behavior that was as extreme as the young man you are describing. Mine wasn't so I didn't prusue treatment. I wonder how diffeent things could have been if I had believed them.

They say that the difference between someone who is just moody and someone who is bipolar is that the moods of a bipolar person profoundly affect their lives in a damaging way. They have also found that in the family of someone with bipolar disorder, there will often be people who have moodswings and some of the characteristics of Bipolar but not enough to be able to dx them. They are called partially affected relatives. I have a lot of lovingly nutty people in my family...then there is me and my aunt. Well, you know how that goes.

I didn't know that you considered yourself to be one of my demons. Well, if you are one of my demons then you are one of the nice demons.

AHB-Well, I guess it's just as well that there is ...

2008-08-23T06:01:00.000-07:00

AHB-Well, I guess it's just as well that there is a diagnostic test. The insanity of finding second opinions etc, the alternating hope and disappointment would be enough to do someone in. Where are you from in the states?

I've only got a couple of seconds to live so I'll ...

2008-08-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

I've only got a couple of seconds to live so I'll make this uick.
Yesterday a friend said to me "listen whatever you do don't aa.
aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

Yes, funny enough I was introduced into the world ...

2008-08-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, funny enough I was introduced into the world of many mood swings of late. I thought I kind of knew a little bit about it but now realize it’s quite a complex disorder and can take up to (I read) ten years to complete a properly diagnose. I never knew (in extreme cases)it can lead to psychoses, delusions, hallucinations until my introduction.
A young man entered our (family) lives about a year ago. He began dating my daughter. He seem a bit of a wild card which was off-set by his intelligence- he was very sharp. Chemistry was his forte.
His personality like a magnet attracted people: whatever you knew he knew more about it.

One day out of the blue he phoned me to tell me my daughter had been kidnapped. You can imagine the shock, I think I came close to a heart attack, anyway. I finished on the phone with a hectic sketchy plan of action and telling him to contact the police, and I’ll be over as soon as I sort out the very necessary.
I had only just put the phone down when the front door opened and my daughters voice anybody home. I ran to the door god Seija you’re OK what happened bla bla bla bla.
“What are you on about,” she said looking at me as if I had lost it.
To make a long story short- she was never kidnapped; they had a fight and she walked out staying with a friend over night. It all went down hill from there. He walked into a bar with a gun and said he was going to find his girlfriends kidnappers and shoot them. Eventually he said I was involved and threatened to kill me- the whole family.
He has been locked up for over tree months now, and as crazy as it all was I feel extremely sad for the guy. He could have had a lot going for him under normal circumstances.

I guess that’s what you call an extreme case. But having experienced all that I am still not clear about bipolar- I wonder about the specialists. I doubt they’re clear either.
Many years ago I was told by a psychiatrist I had bipolar depression. I do still have episodes: extreme up and down- losing my temper, sleeplessness (and comatose ha the opposite) and so, but nothing that would cause too much concern. So when I realized my daughters boyfriend was apart of the family in more ways than one it made me take stock- in fact at first I couldn’t really equate the whole situation.
I couldn’t believe we were part of the same family even if only mildly related. I still have a problem with the relation between bipolar disorder and personality disorder, under which also comes names like mania, sociopath, psychopath. Very frightening don’t you think. “Hello I’m Alan I’m a very mild psychopath, quite loyal, and fun loving, just don’t cross me.” Ha.
I know you’re smiling Diana, at least I hope you are; if we lose our sense of humor we lose a lot- too much in fact?

I guess the bottom line is being accepted, being a person who can contribute to society, feel good about our contribution, love ourselves, and be loved for it.

I know we never will be perfect
Never entirely clear
(when the moon shines)
We get hurt and we just panic
And we strike out
Out of fear
(you were only being kind)
I fear the sentence of this solitude
200 years on hold
(for my loving crime)
Oh and all we ever wanted
Was just to come in from the cold

When I thought life had some meaning
Then I thought I had some choice
(I was running blind)
And I made some value judgments
In a self-important voice
(I was outa line)
But then absurdity came over me
And I longed to lose control
(into no mind)
Oh all I ever wanted
Was just to come in from the cold
----------------
This song is on my post A GORY STORY August 9th.
One of my favorites- have a listen if you have time.
Thank you for this post: GREAT STUFF!
Now Fuck Off!

Lab tests are correct. I have a friend down here ...

2008-08-22T20:54:00.000-07:00

Lab tests are correct. I have a friend down here that is a well respected doctor.

I talked with him about it after seeing a few other's. Just doing physical therapy, and a lot of prozac.

I just finished reading. I hate to pop in and fuck...

2008-08-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading.
I hate to pop in and fuck off (I have to do something right now) without saying something.
I'll drop back tomorrow if I may and shoot the shit with you.
Nice to see a post up.

AHB-I don't even know what to say. To have that h...

2008-08-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

AHB-I don't even know what to say. To have that hanging over your head...that's tough! Really tough! I feel so sad just hearing it. Curious. Since you didn't like your doctor, did you get a second dx? Or are there specific lab tests that identify this so a dx is indisputable.

EOTR-I was hoping you would come by for this one, ...

2008-08-22T04:56:00.000-07:00

EOTR-I was hoping you would come by for this one, I was interested in hearing what you would say.

You know, I have wondered if I have PTSD because I have the symptoms, but I have not had the huge event that is supposed to trigger it. I asked my Doctor and he said that without that huge event, I can't really be dx'd with it. Sometimes I wonder if there is another type of stress disorder that people get because of long-term stress instead of the one huge traumatic event.

As for labelling people because it is convenient. I've noticed that so many people who have these attitudes seem to be the people who are proud of their ability to make snap judgements and think that being thoughtful or letting your emotions influence you and holding off until you understand something is weak. Being in my field, I have always been surrounded by people like that and pick up on it so quick and over the years have developed a resentment. Some of them think they are so smart and they are so not smart. And it's scary because the people who are percieved as being good decision makers are usually those in charge.

The friend who hurt my feelings over and over and who I have decided that I have had enough of, might be bipolar. Lot's of people have said so. Even her own fiance. But she is hypomanic. She is one of the most energetic people I have ever met and seems to feel no fatigue physical or mental. But she's so flaky sometimes. She so takes for granted that because these things are easy for her, that other people have no excuse for not doing what she does and anyone who can't, she sees as lazy. And I'm sick of her. She's so dense and I'm tired of it.

And this attitude of insightfulness being construed as weakness plays into how people are afraid of meeting their own demons. Too bad for the rest of us, huh!

And there are so many people who assume that a bipolar is only making excuses for themsevles. You should hear some of the stories on the forum. They are heartbreaking. I'ms so lucky that I have my family. I never realized how lucky I was until recently. If I had family treating me like these people are treated, I don't know if I could go on. I'm also so lucky that my medicine helps me. For some people, medication doesn't work. Wouldn't that be awful?

Hey,I have the upper body something, or another. ...

2008-08-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hey,

I have the upper body something, or another. When the doctor was telling me I blanked out. I have the paperwork somewhere. Basically at some point my lungs won't be able to work well enough to breath. I get to sufficate. I am not suicidal, but no way in hell am I going out that way. I think I would fall under the Post Traumatic Stress BP as enemy of the republic pointed out.

I remember wanting to kill the Doctor when he told me what it was. He was a jerk. I played with him, and asked/told him that I should drink every night for the pain, right? The doctor actually agreed with me???WTF??? I really was pissed at the SOB. Oh well, I guess it is just one of the breaks/lessons in life.

United In Peace And Freedom

Great post!I came by yesterday and today I see a p...

2008-08-21T08:04:00.000-07:00

Great post!

I came by yesterday and today I see a post. Great!

I like what you wrote. You get the scope not only of the illness, but the social ramifications, the actual strengths within it and the stupidity of people's reactions. Here's my take, not only on BP, but on anyone who is diagnosed with any disorder:

1. They are labeled because it is convenient--it's a nice box to explain what is wrong. However, some with BP also have post-traumatic stress. And as you pointed out, some of our most creative people have BP. It doesn't have to reduce them.

2. People scorn them because they fear their own demons manifesting. I could write a book on this topic. Most folks want to be seen as normal, and what is a better contrast than someone with an admitted disorder.

3. People may hear the diagnosis, but they see it as an excuse to behave out of accordance with societal norms. In other words, get over it! Many of those people are family members who lack compassion. I think that one is the worst.