Conversations with Tragedy

It seems that Tragedy doesn't like the way the story that I am writing about her is going. (She's decided that she wants to be known as Tragedy after all. We are allowed the privelege of being shizoid!) She's been complaining about it and she just won't stop. So her and I had to sit down and have a long talk about a lot of things.

First of all, she thinks that her character has become wooden. She is absolutely right. If you knew Tragedy you would see what I'm talking about. We both agree that character development has been sacrificed for plot. And furthermore, we think that this has happened because her story is really not 'short story' material but is rather, novel material. I'm happy to say that Tragedy wants me to write her novel. Though she doesn't especially like the way this story is going she still likes my writing and thinks that I have potential.

She thinks that her story doesn't have the right tone. She says that we need to decide who it's audience is intended to be and then just stick to that. We have decided that it is meant for young adults and the young at heart. This means that as we revise we will have to remove a few of the racier parts. Tragedy thinks that there are other angst-ridden adolescents who will identify with her.

Tragedy thinks that I didn't think over what I wanted to do with the story before I started writing it, that I just plunged into it with no idea of where I was going and that now, we are sort of stuck on a course that we don't really want to be on, wouldn't be on if we had thought it out a little bit better. I told Tragedy that she should remember that it is merely a first draft and she was satisfied with that.

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of things that Tragedy likes about the story as well and after our talk she felt much more positive. Now she wants me to finish and has decided that she will be helpful instead of critical in order to help me proceed. She has also given me permission to write other things about her, things that will reveal her character and make her come alive a little bit more.

Tragedy had been giving me a lot of trouble with her constant criticisms, making it hard for me to write. But now that we are done arguing the story is proceeding again.

My new game!

When I read these lines I gave a little laugh and knew that I was in for a treat.

' Victor was the reservation John Travolta because he still wore clothes from the disco era. He had won a few thousand dollars in Reno way back in 1979, just after he graduated from high school. He bought a closet full of silk shirts and polyester pants and had never had any money since then to buy anything new. He hadn't gained any weight in thirteen years, but the clothes were tattered and barely held to his body. His wardrobe made him an angry man.' Reservation Blues by Sherman Alexie

Here are the rules. Show why someone should read the book you are reading. Show this by quoting a line or short scene, a paragraph, a description...something....anything...that you feel somehow epitomizes the book. It does not have to describe the subject of the book, though it can. It doesn't have to even make sense to anyone but you. But whatever you pick, it should be something that you feel should make a person curious about the book and think that they might possibly want to read it.

An alternative post could be using the same rule as above, pick out a scene, line etc...that epitomizes why one should not read the book you are reading.

I tag Enemy of the Republic, X, Trevor and Eric. (I did not tag you twice X) You don't have to make a post about it, just put it in your post at some point. It could be at the beginning, end whatever. Then tag some others. I know Trevor hates to be tagged but comeon! This is a fun one. An original (at least I hope) way to talk about what you are reading and suggest books to others. And of course, I realize that it may be a little while before you can put it in because you have to read your book first. So, I will wait while impatiently tapping my foot.

How You Heard About Madeleine?

Have you heard of Madeleine Mccann?

She's a 4 year old who was abducted from her hotel room in Portugal where she was vacationing with her parents? She has been missing for about 40 days. Her parents, both physicians, have launched a massive media campaign and raised a huge ransom in order to get her back. It's a horrible story and I've become riveted by it. Children are abducted every day. Why am I so sad about her as opposed to all of the other children? I don't know.




She reminds me of my youngest. Here she is. How could anyone destroy such beauty. To try and understand drags me into the abyss.

Her parents made a horrible mistake and they are bleeding all over the press. They will leave no stone unturned they say. Her mother carries Madeleines toy, cuddly kitty with her everywhere she goes. All she has left now.




When my younger daughter was 6 weeks old, I had to go back to work. I used to have a dream that I had lost her. It was an atmospheric dream of emptiness that stayed with me all day. The story makes me feel the way the dream did.




My daughters will go to Mexico. What if I lost them. What if they were hurt and frightened and I wasn't there. I wouldn't want to ever leave Mexico because I would feel like I left them. I wouldn't be able to move out of the house that we lived in ever again, even if it was falling down around me because I would be afraid that their spirit would not be able to find me. I wouldn't even be able to ever use their room for anything else because I would want their spirit to have a place to be. I guess that's why they can't go back to England.

She's a pampered child who has led a fairy-tale existence. We hope that the one who took her was someone who couldn't have a child and wanted one and they are being kind to her. But we all know that this isn't likely. We know why she was taken. Do you think she would be better off dead than sold into a child prostitution ring? Can things be so bad that death would be better?



We barrier ourselves against the world. We try to block all of the bad things out. We do this out of necessity, because sometimes the world is too much. Sometimes something happens that cracks open your barrier and everything that you've held back all comes rushing in at once. That is what this story has done to me. I will continue to post updates about it.

Irrelevant Factoids and Antecdotes about.....MOI!

I was Tagged by EOTR. I won't tag anyone else accept Trevor because everyone who reads my blog has already done it. I realize that Trevor will probably politely decline but I will Tag him anyway just so I can say I tagged someone.

1. I severely compromised myself when I named my younger daughter. I have a rule, I don't want the name to be in the top 100 list.

I wanted to name her Vivian Jewel. I thought of naming her Vivian Scarlett but apparently there is something really obscene about this name that I am just not getting because when I mentioned it people drew away from me like I was some kind of freak for wanting to name my child this. I am aware that Vivian Leigh played Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind and that this makes the name slightly cheezy. I didn't pick it because I have an obsession with Gone With the Wind or anything. The fact that the two names are connected were just an unfortunate aside as far as I was concerned. I chose it simply because I thought it was pretty, but I didn't have enough guts to use it, given the reaction I recieved.

So, I reverted back to Vivian Jewel. When people asked me about my name and I triumphantly announced it they would first look slightly stunned, then vaguely disgusted, then they would hastily compose their features and mumble something that I couldn't quite make out. So I finally wimped out and went with Mia Ange. Mia is now in the top 20. In my defense, I have liked the name Mia long before it became popular and it isn't my fault that it became popular and common. It's a pretty name but I do feel that I sold pussed out in using it. Oh well.
However, here is something that saves it from complete banality. Mia means mine in spanish. So if we went over to Mexico we could easily get into a comical "Who's on First" type of scenario.

"What is your daughters name?"

"Mia."

"I know she's your daughter. I'm asking you what her name is.!" etc....So, I'm expecting to have lots of fun fucking with people when I go to Mexico.

2. I can't read the news in public because I very obviously cry. Either it affects me more than the average person or I am less able to hide my distress, I don't know which. I only know that I don't see any other people sobbing brokenheartedly when they read the news. On the plus side, I've been caught at it a few times and the people who caught me seemed to be somewhat in awe of and impressed by my ability to feel anguish and afterwards they treated me like a fragile piece of china...... or like I'm nuts I'm not sure which




3. I used to have a friend whom when we got together, brought out each others wacky sides. We would get together and laugh and giggle until we were almost high and we would egg each other on to bizarre antics, each trying to top the other and we didn't give a shit what anyone thought.
Once we tried to leave a drive-thru window without paying for our stuff. (I was driving.) We weren't really doing it to get away with anything, we just thought it was funny. When I got to the end of the drive, I couldn't get out because there was too much traffic and the manager came sprinting out to make sure we paid. He was pissed! But we were laughing so hard we were practically drooling. (you can get away with stuff like this in smaller towns.) Though whether we got away with it or not is debatable. We did have to pay, but we didn't get thrown in jail.

Once I pulled into the wrong parking lot when trying to go to pizza hut and I didn't feel like getting back on the road, so I just drove through the grass.
Once we casually flashed people to see if anyone would notice it if we did it very nonchalantly. It took a really long time before anyone noticed. I think that the only reason that they noticed is because we were giggling so hysterically. I'm sure that we were very annoying but we didn't care. That was the beauty of it.
Oh, I don't act that way anymore. Sorry.

4. I've dropped all of my kids at least once when they were babies. Well, the two older I dropped once apiece. But the younger one I dropped numerous times. Well actually, I didn't really drop her, I would just let her slide around. Like out of her stroller or off the bed or something. I was so relaxed and mellow by the time I had her that I wasn't careful enough. My husband did it too. Once he and my older daughter were playing video games and he was so into the video game that he wasn't paying attention to her and he suddenly noticed that she wasn't on the bed anymore. She had rolled down a quilt that was hanging off the bed and was playing on the floor, completely oblivious to the fact that she was being neglected.

5. Everyone has something really gross that they like to eat. Something completely low-brow and childish. Something that has no nutritional value whatsoever and something that you would feel slightly demeaned if anyone outside of your family actually observed you eating it. Mine is chef boy r dee (sp?) beefaroni.

7. Once when I was young, I went swimming and me and some guy I knew but wasn't attracted to swam out to the buoys together. The water was deep that year and I couldn't swim back until I rested, so I was sort of tightrope walking on the wires that connected the buoys together and treading water trying to catch my breath. I inadvertently put my hand on the guys crotch. He took it a little more seriously than it was intended. (It wasn't intended at all!) and proceeded to try to feel me up in the water. I was still too tired to swim back so I tried to casually get away from him without making a big deal about it. So, I was kind of tippy-toeing along the wire trying to catch my breath and he was tippy-toeing after me, pursuing me along the buoys. Now that I think back on it, I don't know why I didn't just say something but oh well. Well, you know how slowly you move underwater. So, it was kind of like a high-speed pursuit in slo-mo, if that makes sens.. I'm sure it could somehow be made into a Monty Python-ish, or Charlie Chaplin-ish type of skit if one had a mind to.

8. I make fun of my husband's accent sometimes and tell him that he sounds like a vampire. Is that mean?

9. I've always been soft-hearted. I thought that they should let the rabbit eat Trix.

10. Once I started a story about a heroine called Trinity and a dragon named Brian. There were people reading it and I suddenly stopped writing and left everyone hanging. sorry. I'm going to finish it soon. I've been having a hard time getting to my blog lately. I've been very yang and have been getting a lot done....all except for this. I may have to rethink it because I don't want to quit, but I will have to make more posts that are less time-consuming to write or I simply will not have time to post.

Last Episode... coming up

I have a case of insominia tonight, so while I am awaiting the effects of the glass of milk to kick in thought I would write this post. Does anyone beside Ricardo and I watch The Sopranos? The 2nd to last episode was on Sunday night. One more episode and the best television show that has ever been on will be over and I will shut my HBO off again.....probably forever.

My parents were by yesterday and we were marvelling over the fact that lately some of the central characters have been getting killed off and because they are such unlikable people, you feel nothing when they die. Much to my consternation, I found myself gloating when Christopher died because I couldn't stand him. I even defended Tony for doing it by saying that it was something that needed to be done, that Chrisopher was too unstable....too much of a rogue element. I guess the show has brought out my sociopathic side.

My husband thinks that the writers of the series do not stay true to their characters, that they twist their personalities around according to the needs of the story. He feels that the characters lose their integrity in this way. I disagreed with him verbally, as I tend to be slavishly devoted to the show, but on the inside I have to agree that they have been doing this somewhat more here in the end. The scene that we were discussing in regards to this is the scene in which Tony's therapist fires him.




My husband and I both thought that Dr. Melfi's actions in this scene were not congruent with her character. I also said that the scene was unnecessary, that with where the plot is heading his therapist and his relationship with her is very insignificant.

However, as I was laying in bed a little earlier, before my hunger pains drove me up and I was in that half-dozing frame of mind where the insights just seem to come to you; I saw that perhaps the scene will actually be a good scene that fits in with the overall picture after all once all is known. Dr. Melfi has 'woken up' and realized that Tony is a sociopath and that her therapy does nothing to change that.

I think Paulie is involved in this in some way. Remember the episode where Tony almost kills Paulie on the boat. Earlier in that episode, Paulie was packing a suitcase and they made a big deal of showing all of his white shoes going into the suitcase. At the end of the episode, a member of the rival gang is killed in a restaurant. They pan over the feet running away from the crime scene and you see a distinct pair of white shoes go by. Obviously then, Paulie is not with the rivals or he wouldn't be killing them, but something is up with Paulie.

Well, what do you think?